So, my novel is finally finished. By finished, I mean I’m now sending it out to agents; what changes will need to be made before publication remains to be seen.

Below is my current query letter. If you have any feedback, I’d love to hear it! I’ve tried to follow the guidelines I found on queryshark, and a few other places online:

Jonas Mills sympathizes with the Greens and the Red Factions, but turns down their recruiters. All he wants is to finish his English degree, marry his dance-major girlfriend, and make his parents proud. If he could convince his little sister Elise that the overthrow of capitalism won’t solve America’s environmental disasters, all the better.

But when he’s nearly killed during a national uprising, and his father is murdered by rebels, he leaves these dreams behind. Fearing he’s next in line for elimination, he joins the U.S. Army. Soon, he’s battling an insurgency from the Cascade Mountains all the way to Missoula, Montana. As the country slips into civil war, his sister joins the opposing side.

As the conflict reaches its climax, Jonas discovers that the conspiracy surrounding his father’s death goes deeper than he ever imagined. To prevent a worldwide catastrophe, he’ll need every skill at his disposal—and a lot of luck. Most of all, he must learn to forgive those who took his father, and reconcile with his sister, before it’s too late.

SIBLING REBELLIONS is a 140,000-word military science fiction novel. I have an MFA in creative writing, and have been published in a number of small literary magazines including Eleven Eleven, The Gold Man Review, Somnambulist, The Oakland Review, and Forklift, Ohio. This is my first novel.  

Thank you for your consideration,

 -Leonard Crosby

One thought on “Query Letter Draft

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